Deanna P. Vicars' Obituary
Deanna Phyllis Rothman was born on February 9th, 1941 in St. Louis, MO to Edward Lewis Rothman and Ida Benjamin Rothman, the first of five siblings. The Rothman family moved to Detroit when Deanna was a small child and then to Houston when she was ten. She attended San Jacinto high school years before Billy Gibbons or Keith Ferguson graced those halls and later attended University of Houston where she majored in Bridge.
As a child she was particularly close to her maternal grandmother. Family lore has it that her grandparents were land owners from Romania who left when the Czar was overthrown in Russia. It was her grandmother who kindled her interest in music, art, and travel. Growing up in the 50’s she bore witness to the birth of Rock ’n’ Roll. Ahead of the curve, she would accompany her father to Black clubs in Galveston where he had business and fell under the spell of Rhythm & Blues. Having heard the real thing she had no use for the watered down versions; neither Elvis nor The Beatles impressed her. She was also an accomplished violinist who was typically assigned second chair. Hating it at the time because she wasn’t playing the melody, in her later years she would learn that it was a testament to how solid she was; only the strongest get second chair. Her biggest regret in life was that she allowed her parents to dissuade her from having a career as a Classical violinist.
In her early 20’s she moved to Los Angeles where she met Jerry Vicars of Alliance, OH. She taught him to read music and he taught her to play bass. The role was not dissimilar to second chair violin, she discovered. With a series of drummers in tow they worked throughout the greater Los Angeles area and later around Houston. In 1972 they had a son, J.J. Vicars, who followed in their footsteps proclaiming that the musical upbringing they gave him was remarkably different, and much better, from anyone else his age and the best thing they ever gave him. Deanna listened to Jazz vocalists Sara Vaughan and Ella Fitzgerald incessantly. Jazz pianist Oscar Peterson was another favorite. She was also a frequenter of clubs with her husband Jerry and was thrilled to meet Sara Vaughan. When the Vicars moved to Tokyo in 1985 and took an apartment on the west side she was a regular at the legendary Jazz club Sometime in Kichijoji taking her fourteen year old son with her. When he was 15 she took him to see Johnny Winter at Stage One in Houston then waited outside three hours for Johnny to come out and autograph her son’s record.
On Valentine’s Day of 1988 the family moved to Tokyo for the second time. During the summer of that year she took her son to the Japan Blues Carnival (festival) where Lil’ Ed & The Blues Imperials were playing with Albert Collins & The Icebreakers headlining. When J.J. was escorted backstage by Michael Garrett of the Blues Imperials to meet Albert Collins he returned after the festival was over with mom and dad in tow. She was happiest when she was hanging out with musicians even though she had since retired from playing. Dancing was a favorite pastime and she frequented several Latin clubs in Tokyo often bringing J.J. with her to sit in with the band.
While her musical interests were being fed living in Tokyo allowed her to explore another interest, teaching. Over the course of twenty years she taught English in Japan to all ages and all walks of life. Her favorite times teaching were when she worked at a university near Mount Fuji. Despite the three-hour train ride on the local line which provided a nice morning nap she relished her position as a university instructor. It was fun, it was easy, and it meant she was important in her field.
As she neared retirement age she rationalized that moving to India would be a good idea. It was cheap and Social Security could go a long way there. Moving to a burgeoning metropolis as a middle age couple with a kid was one thing but moving to a developing nation as an older woman by herself was deemed a very bad idea by all around her. She did it anyhow because she was living her life on her terms now. After J.J. turned 18 she and Jerry had divorced. She had remarried but her new husband’s illegal alien status eventually came to the attention of the immigration authorities and he was deported. Nice guy, just didn’t have a visa. In 2008 she gave up everything in Japan and with two suitcases full of clothes and photos she moved to India. Six months later she returned to the States, settling in Front Royal, VA near her sister Lois. A couple years later she moved back to Houston first with her sister Frances then on her own but with her youngest sister Jeannie nearby to be there for her often. During this time she began volunteering at the Senior Center and online for various charitable organizations.
With the cost of living going up she decided to move to Alliance, OH where her son J.J. was living and where his dad was from. She rented a quaint apartment on the north side that reminded her of her early childhood in the Midwest. Nostalgia was periodically and unceremoniously interrupted by the train tracks across the street so after a year she moved to Hart Apartments where she stayed for her final five and a half years. Volunteering for Rose’s Rescue she adopted Uncle Bob, who was initially categorized as a Russian Blue and is now regarded as simply A Very Large Cat. A decades-long practitioner of Reiki she also volunteered at Alliance Community Care giving Reiki to the recuperating and hospice alike. In her 70’s she let loose and really enjoyed life. First she got her nose pierced, something she had wanted to do since before living in India. Next, after a lifetime of saying that tattoos were stupid and why would anybody want to inflict pain on themselves and draw pictures on their body, she decided she wanted a tattoo. Swearing to anyone within earshot that he did not put her up to this and in fact even tried to discourage it J.J. relented in the face of her steadfastness and took her to the tattoo shop he had most recently been inked at and thought would be a good fit for her. She was surprised how little it hurt and quickly made plans to do the other arm then fill them both in with more work. One, however, would suffice.
With her son looking after her breakfast was the happiest time of day. Fresh ground coffee, eggs & bacon in the skillet, Uncle Bob hanging out with everybody, and old favorites such as “Sanford & Son” on the TV. When she hooked up her Roku int wasn’t long before TV gave way to music and a new morning ritual was initiated. J.J. rekindled her ear for Western Swing which she hadn't listened to since she was a kid in Houston. He even took her to see Asleep At The Wheel which she loved. His interest in early Country and Hillbilly brought back many memories for her as they listened to the greats every morning over breakfast. Sometimes they would switch it up with Blues or Rhythm & Blues, occasionally Jazz if the weather was right. At night she listened to Jazz or Classical but most often read. During her time in Alliance she soon discovered and became a regular customer of Panda Garden and 2021 was the first Christmas they were open so J.J., Lisa, and Deanna lived the joke and had Chinese food. Her last Christmas done right. She was also a regular at Bahn Thai, relieved to have someplace local to satiate her lifelong love of Thai food. Her favorite place to eat was Buddies Good To Go owned and operated by Tamara Carpenter and Jen Crison who considered her and J.J. family and made everything from scratch with locally sourced ingredients. Deanna had long been into healthy eating but was happy to make exceptions such as the Thanksgiving where she ate the entire bowl of stuffing or when particularly good chocolate chip cookies surfaced somewhere.
Her last night out on the town saw her coming full circle. For her birthday J.J. took her to Music Box in Cleveland to see Lil’ Ed & The Blues Imperials again. She hadn’t seen them since that fateful day in ’88. They stayed long after the show hanging out with old friends and she caught up with bassist James ‘Pookie’ Young whom she’d been particularly friendly with. For the longest time the two of them sat reminiscing like a couple of old war horses. Eventually the band was loading out and it was time to go. She had a blast; she was back in her element being herself again free from any other concerns.
She passed away on May 2nd at 1:20 A.M. Her sister Jeannie recounts, “ She was the oldest and about 12 years older than me. She was grown and out of our house by the time I was six. There was not a lot of time to bond. Most of my life it was her talking to me like I was still six years old even when I was a mother of two and then a grandma. However, after she came home from the hospital a couple of months ago she changed. Something clicked in her way of thinking and really wanting to be genuine and better with people. When I started calling her to see how she was feeling I knew I wasn’t talking to the same person I had grown up with. She no longer talked to me like a six year old. I became her closest friend and confidante. She let me in on her deepest feelings and wants. All she really wanted now was to make peace with everyone, especially J.J. (the love of her life). She actually listened to my advice and suggestions and put them in her heart. She truly began to transform and J.J. and I could feel it happening.That made her life a success! It made our relationship the one I wished we had all along. But that month our hearts became one and our past relationship disappeared and a new one was created for eternity! I didn’t think I would miss her but now I am still playing the voicemail of my new sister that she left on my phone when I got lonely.”
After working through problems stemming from childhood she found the peace and serenity that she had craved for so long. She fought the loudest, the hardest, and the most frequent with those who were closest to her. Jeannie and J.J. jointly observed, “Being a pain in the ass meant she loved you and considered you dear.” She could be a handful but that was her way of showing her love; feisty and full of live living every moment to its fullest.
It was her wish to be cremated and the ashes scattered. Her wish to be cremated was honored but rather than scatter the ashes J.J. decided to put them in an ecopod where they will feed a young sapling as it grows into a tree. A private Celebration Of Life ceremony TBA will be held during which the the ecopod will be planted. In lieu of flowers donations in her name can be made to Rose's Rescue P.O. Box 33 Rootstown, OH 44272 https://www.rosesrescue.net/info/donate
You are invited to view Deanna's tribute wall, offer condolences and share memories at www.sharerfuneralhome.com. Arrangements are by the Sharer-Stirling-Skivolocke Funeral Home.
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